I cannot believe it has been five months since I have last written with an update. But then again, I guess I can believe it. I actually started this post on Easter Sunday and it has taken that long to finish. There has been a subject weighing on my mind for some time now. I feel as though I have not had the words to express it, but while celebrating Christ’s Resurrection today, I believe the Holy Spirit can help me.
I feel I need to apologize to so many people for two and a half years of having a pessimistic, complaining, and down-trodden attitude. My mother-in-law and Dane have a joke between the two of them about being “Bottom-Locker” people. Dane jokes that I came to the “Bottom Locker” when I married him (not anything against him, just his bad luck). This meaning, if things can go wrong, then they will go wrong. For example; you wait in line at the Social Security office for over two hours to see how to get your daughter’s number (because of course they will not give this information over the phone) only to be told when you get to the front that the U.S. Embassy didn’t request a card on her behalf as you had checked off in the correct box on the correct paperwork when you were in her native country over a year ago. Therefore, even though she’s been home you cannot claim it on taxes. Another example; it is pouring rain outside while you are driving in your car, it finally stops, only to then have it literally rain inside of your car because apparently there are tubes in your car that can get clogged so it will no longer keep the water from coming inside your car. Another example; you go to take a picture of your childs first snow and are only two feet from the door when you fall and break your wrist in two places and one fracture. These are just a few true stories that have happened very recently. And lastly one very costly example; you back into your husbands Jeep in your own driveway causing a few thousand dollars worth of damage. Of course there is also our two adoption stories that are filled with many bottom-locker incidents. I have let my trials and circumstances make me more bitter than joyful, more frustrated than grateful, and more sad than happy. This is where I need to beg forgiveness, most importantly to my Heavenly Father.
Do I really think I am the only person that feels they are “Bottom-Locker”? How self-centered am I? I have seen how differently much of the world lives than the majority of Americans. And yet, I still lament over my half-homeless state for the past six months. But let us truly think who in history really had a Right to feel “Bottom-Locker” and yet died on a cross for you and me. Our timeline of history is based on His birth and after His death yet the world mocks him. He was born in a manger that had at one time been filled with slop, how is that for “Bottom-Locker”. His brothers, best friends, and community betrayed Him to the cross. On the way to that cross He was beaten savagely, humiliated to the fullest, and yet He prayed for them in the garden hours before this and asked for their forgiveness while hanging on that cross and even had compassion and empathy for the thief hanging beside him. Sounds like my definition of “Bottom-Locker”. But that’s not the end of the story. Three days later this “Bottom-Locker” man named Jesus rose from the dead and conquered sin and death; Matthew 20:17-19
17 Now Jesus was going up to Jerusalem. On the way, he took the Twelve aside and said to them, 18 “We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death 19 and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified. On the third day he will be raised to life!”
This man proved that He was the Son of God not the “Bottom-Locker” man they all believed Him to be. God is starting to open my eyes to the fact that I am most certainly not the only human being that feels like they are in the “Bottom Locker” at times. But the truth of the matter is that I am not, nor have I, or will ever be since the moment I gave my life to Jesus. As a follower of Jesus I have been adopted into his kingdom and will one day be in Heaven with the one and only God who created the Universe! It tells me this in Romans 8:14-17
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again;rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[a] And by him we cry, “Abba,[b] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
That is not the Bottom Locker! That is glorious and wonderful, and miraculous! So, are you feeling like you are having a “Bottom Locker” day, week, month, or maybe even year? We all have them. There is a season for everything and I promise you are not alone. The even better part? There is a God who cares about you and your situation and longs to have a relationship with you. Unfortunately, at times it takes us hitting rock bottom before we turn to the Lord. Don’t wait that long. As many bad situations I have been in, there have been as many miraculous moments and a sincere peace that passes all understanding. Please don’t think I am down-playing any hardship or tragedy. Your suffering is legitimate, but there is a purpose for it, and when you come to grips with that, everything changes.
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
2 Corinthians 4:17
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So, I hope this was worth the wait. =) The Loves are finally settling into our new home and just kicked off Summer break with a hiking trip and picnic to Morrow Mountain State Park. Joyce and Faith will be starting dance next week so I will be excited to see how that goes, but not quite sure if I’m dreading Summer break or going to enjoy it. Only time will tell.